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Movie Magic/Transcript
(Episode starts with Kirby standing in a green screen.) Kirby: Alright, folks! This is the scene where Mario's gang attacks Sonic's gang! Now pay attention to detail, we want this scene to be one-hundred perfect accurate! Except for the fact that Sonic and Tails have completely switched roles and I'll be playing Mario. (Kirby sucks up Mario's corpse and gains his hat and mustache.) Kirby: And...action! (Camera starts filming.) Tails: Come on! Can we talk about this?! Kirby (In Mario's voice): No! You fucked up my business, let my brother get hit by a bus and worse of all, somehow you managed to program my DVR so it'll record each episode of Bachelor Pad like three different times. Sonic: Eh...That was me. Tails: That show was terrible and so are you! You should get stabbed in the face every morning for the rest of your life, you linked-dicked loser! Go jump of a bridge! Kirby (In his normal voice): *Off-screen* Cue to piss! (Tails starts pissing on Sonic.) Sonic: Argh! Come on! Kirby: And...cut! Perfect, I love it! Let's head over to Paperboy next! (The camera stops filming as the backgrounds returns to their green screen.) Sonic: Wait a second! I don't remember saying all that shit! And pissing all that piss! Tails: Yeah, I'm spicing up your boring life. Let's move, people! We're losing daylight! (Camera starts filming at Paperboy.) Kirby: *Off-screen* Action! (Tails jumps out of a house holding a TV. A police car shows up.) Policeman: Stop right there! We've got a jail cell full of barely legal hookers, we're going to have you come with us to the station and fuck all of them! Tails: Heh-heh, Tails wins! Sonic: Oh, come on! I love barely legal hookers! (To a breakdancer) Okay, dude, stop. That's annoying. Get out of here. (At Mother Brain's room.) Kirby: Alright, Tails, this is the passionate scene where you hook up with Mother Brain! Mother Brain: Ooh! Tails is gonna get so sex! Tails: Yeah, there no way I'm touching you, I've got a replacement. Lara! (Two Metroids carries Mother Brain away from the scene as Lara Croft arrives.) Tails: Alright, head down to the makeup department and get ready. I need a fluffer before this scene get started... (Lara leaves the scene as Tails looks at Sonic, who is right behind him.) Tails: ...I'm looking at you... Sonic: No...fucking...way. (At the Tecmo Bowl field) Eggman: Eh, my agent says I don't have to run, so I'm not running. Jim: I'm pretty sure I haven't had a line in this entire movie. Sonic: Hey, Taratino! How about everyone wins in this scene? Tails: Hey, who's Player One here?! That's right, me! Now shut up, get in this donkey costume and light yourself on fire. (Cut to Burger Time, where Sonic at the Drive Thru and Tails in his Hot Whip.) Sonic: Woah, woah, woah! Since I'm living Tails' life shouldn't I bet in the car?! Should it be my "Cash Explosion?!" (Silence) Tails: Nah. (Tosses a milkshake in Sonic's face and drives off)